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March 29/1998

I am angry inside. Fire grows within my eyes. For a moment, I open my eyes and only see red. I want to share, to give, to love... but I cannot. Whay can I not? Why?! I want so much to. I am scared to go to ****** tommorrow. I will someone that I will be able to share with, someone I will be able to give to, someone i will be able to love, and for one tiny moment I will be able to. For one moment I will actually be happy. Yet after that, everything will be taken away. Everything. it feels so horrible. Each day it gets harder to go on. Each day the fire gets stronger. Who will put it out?