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January 15/1999

Do you know what it's like to KNOW you don't belong?

To KNOW you were only a mistake?

This isn't my life I'm living. I'm not real anymore. I never was.

Do you know what it's like to want to die more than to live?

There's no place in life for me.

It's all a mistake
It's all just a waste of time.
If I could only have that one speck of hope left.
If I could only have that hint of a dream...

I have nothing.
It doesn't make a differennce. I could be gone and no one would notice.

And no one would care.
The only person that ever would have cared was only a dream, a memory torn from my heart.

Everything that once was now is gone.

I am gone.
I am lost.
I am hopeless.